Signs It’s Time: Recognizing When to File for Divorce
Are you feeling like your marriage is hitting rough waters? Perhaps you’re wondering, “When should I file for divorce?” Deciding to end a marriage is never easy, and it’s crucial to recognize the signs that it might be time to take that step.
Understanding when to file for divorce is a significant step towards a new chapter in your life, and we’re here to help you navigate this challenging time with clarity and compassion.
Quick Summary
- Divorce is a legal process to end a marriage, allowing the couple to go their separate ways. It involves sorting out things like property, money, and children, and though it can be emotional, it helps people move on from an unhappy marriage.
- In California, couples can divorce in two ways: by showing irreconcilable differences or one spouse’s incurable insanity.
- Every divorce is unique because each person and relationship is different. However, there are common signs, like communication issues and lack of intimacy, that can help you decide if staying married is right. If you’ve tried talking and counseling but things aren’t improving, it may be time to consider divorce.
- Before filing for divorce, it’s important to prepare. You should make copies of important documents, collect personal items, change your passwords, inventory household items, and check your credit.
- To file for divorce in California, you or your spouse must live in California and in the county where you’ll file. California requires specific forms for divorce, including Summons (FL-110) and Petition (FL-100). If you have children, you also need to complete a form (FL-105) about where your children have lived for the past five years.
What is Divorce?
Divorce is a legal way to end a marriage. When a couple gets divorced, they are no longer married and can go their separate ways. During a divorce, things like property, money, and children are often sorted out. It can be a difficult and emotional process, but it allows people to move on from a marriage that isn’t working.
What Are the Reasons for a California Divorce?
In California, couples can file for divorce in only two ways. They must show either that there are irreconcilable differences or that one spouse has incurable insanity.
Irreconcilable Differences
This common reason for divorce in California encompasses various marital conflicts that become too significant to resolve. Couples often seek divorce due to:
- Money Disagreements. Disagreements over finances can strain marriages, whether it’s different spending habits, resentment over income disparities, or financial secrecy.
- Infidelity. Cheating breaches trust and can lead to the breakdown of a marriage, particularly if both spouses haven’t agreed to non-monogamous relationships.
- Domestic Abuse. Domestic abuse is not just illegal but also often hidden and not talked about. In divorces where domestic violence is a reason, mediation or negotiation might be skipped because making a victim talk to their abuser again could be very upsetting.
- Time Management Problems. Difficulties in coordinating schedules, managing childcare responsibilities, or disagreements over leisure time allocation can strain marital bonds.
- Varying Parental Styles. Disagreements on how to raise children, including decisions about education and religion, can create tension within a marriage.
- Interference From Other Relatives. There’s often a belief that in-laws can be challenging, but sometimes, involvement of friends or family members, can disrupt communication and relationships between spouses and their extended families.
Incurable Insanity
If one spouse is considered legally insane, the other spouse can file for divorce as long as the insanity was confirmed before the divorce petition. The spouse with the diagnosed insanity must stay in that condition and be declared incurable. Because this diagnosis is challenging, it must be verified by a psychiatrist and other medical experts first.
Even if both spouses don’t agree on why they’re getting divorced or even if one spouse doesn’t want the divorce, the process can still start. Courts can grant a divorce even without both spouses agreeing.
When to File for Divorce in California? 10 Signs It Might Be Time
It might be surprising, but every divorce is different. That’s because each person in a marriage is unique, as is their relationship. However, here are the most common signs that anyone can notice in their marriage to help them decide if staying married is right for them.
If you’ve noticed these signs, it’s best to talk to your spouse and consider marriage counseling. If you’ve already tried these steps and things aren’t improving, it might be time to seek help from a divorce attorney.
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You Don’t Talk Much With Your Spouse Anymore
Communication issues can strain a marriage, leading to unresolved conflicts. Whether it’s not wanting to talk about their feelings or difficult topics, or if trying always leads to fights, not communicating well can quickly damage any marriage.
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Your Marriage Lacks Intimacy
Intimacy is key in marriage for maintaining closeness and strength. It goes beyond just sex to include feeling love and closeness towards your partner. If either partner loses interest in intimacy, it could signal a weakening marriage or potential infidelity. When one partner seeks intimacy elsewhere, the marriage may suffer as a result.
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One Spouse is Causing Financial Problems
Thinking about marriage as combining two people’s financial lives might not seem romantic, but legally, that’s what marriage means. Money conflicts often lead to divorce when spouses can’t agree on finances, making divorce seem like the only solution.
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Your Relationship Isn’t a Top Priority
After marriage, some prioritize other aspects of life over their relationship with their spouse. While balancing family, work, and hobbies is important, neglecting the relationship can be concerning. Intentionally avoiding time with your spouse may indicate divorce should be considered.
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You Avoid Arguing With Your Spouse
Disagreements with your spouse can be healthy, showing care for the issue and desire for understanding. Avoiding arguments over important issues can lead to resentment and unresolved problems. Respectful arguments can be productive, but lack of arguments may indicate a lack of willingness to continue the marriage.
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You and Your Spouse Have Very Different Views on Children
Can’t agree on having kids or how to raise them? Couples must agree on major decisions like having kids and values to teach them. If there is no compromise on these issues, divorce is probable.
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Thinking About Your Future Makes You Depressed
Dreading your future with your spouse is a red flag. If the thought of spending time with your spouse makes you feel sad or hopeless, there may be underlying issues that need to be addressed. It’s important to consider the state of your marriage if you are constantly unhappy.
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You’ve Given Up Trying to Make Things Work
Marriage requires continuous effort from both partners to stay happy and fulfilling. If one partner feels like they are the only one putting in work without receiving anything in return, then it’s a problem.
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You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore
Don’t lose sight of who you are in a relationship. Focusing solely on your partner’s needs can lead to neglecting your own. It’s crucial to prioritize your mental health and be authentic. Avoid sacrificing your true self to avoid upsetting your partner, as it can harm the relationship.
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Your Family Relationships Are Unhealthy
Constant negativity in your relationship affects everyone. If your relationship is mostly negative and hurtful, it’s likely getting worse. A healthy relationship should feel balanced and positive.
What Should I Do Before Filing for Divorce?
It’s smart to prepare for your divorce. Here are some things you can do before you file:
Make Copies of Important Documents
Find and maintain records of important documents like tax returns, bank statements, mortgage statements, and credit card bills. Store digital copies securely online. Also copy family photos, videos, and sentimental items.
Take Your Personal Items
Collect personal items such as Social Security Card, medical insurance info, birth certificate, passport, etc. Keep them in a safe place to avoid mixing them up during the transition.
Change Your Passwords
Change all personal account passwords, including phone, email, social media, and iCloud. Choose passwords your spouse can’t guess.
Make an Inventory of Household Items
Use your phone to make a video of everything in your home. Walk through each room slowly and describe the items as you record. Don’t forget to include items in your home safe.
Protect and Check Your Credit
Check your credit report before divorce to plan for your financial future. Consider getting a new credit card in your name for emergency use.
How Do I File for a Divorce?
To get a divorce in California, you or your spouse must live in California and in the county where you’ll file. California has forms you must use for divorce, and some are required. Every divorce starts with a Summons (FL-110) and a Petition (FL-100).
If you have kids, you also need to fill out a form (FL-105) about where your kids have lived for the past five years.
Time to Reach Out for Help, Call Us Now!
Recognizing the signs that it might be time to file for divorce is an important step toward a new beginning. Whether it’s constant arguments, lack of communication, or other issues causing strain on your marriage, knowing when to take action can lead to a healthier and happier future.
If you’re considering divorce in California, 805 Law Group is here to help. If you’re facing difficulties in your marriage and are considering divorce, don’t hesitate to reach out to 805 Law Group. Our compassionate team of family lawyers is dedicated to helping you navigate the divorce process with ease.
We can also represent you in Criminal Defense and Estate Planning. Contact us today and let us help you take the first step towards a brighter future.
